Seems like a few years back, the politically incorrect thing to do was sterotype children into specific gender roles: boys could only have short hair, play cowboys and (forgive me) indians, play with GI Joe Action figures, and dress like boys should dress. Girls had to dress in dresses, have long hair, play with dolls, have makeup and piercing jewlery, learn to cook, and do things girls do. I can't say if bringing out the effeminate side in boys or the emasculine side in girls has made a big difference in the world today and I can't say that either one of you have handled your situations incorrectly. I think your decision was right for your time and situation. If each boy is comfortable with his situation, then fine. The social pressures of their decisions will bring about the most effective changes in their lives later on.