Reply from Mr John, Child's Age xx - 11/16/02 - IP#: 63.208.60.205

OK, Layla, now here is what I am suggesting. There is bound to be some trial and error. Anything I say does not have to be chipped in stone, and you are the girls' mum so the decisions are up to you and dad. Be aware that you can adjust the routine to suit the circumstances at that moment. But here is what I would do if I were closer to the case in point. FIRST, adjust the 11 yo's diet. You still talk about constipation and her pushing so hard out of position is obviously connected to that. Get a diuretic, best with prescription from doctor, but milder forms are available at chemical shop. I believe I mentioned suppositories earlier post. SECOND, now this involves you for the most part and it might be well to consider your 7yo as well. I wish not to be critical, so please excuse me and I hope you will get the drift, for the girls' sake. I feel it will help the 11yo for sure.You never said where you nappied the girls that I can recall. It seems that almost all of your routines take place at or near the toilet(beg pardon). So much is going on at the toilet that one loses perspective as to what is supposed to happen there. I sense that you are keeping the girls there much too long. Give them 5 minutes or so(say) to get done and then call to the child to promptly come to you. Each one should wipe of course, flush and wash her hands. But here is the real point of this goings-on. You may be preparing for each girl's arrival, readying things you will need within their respective bedrooms. When the toileting time begins, no matter when, the 11yo(or both) should have removed all underthings and plastic pants so she can get to her bedroom when called. So what's the difference. Mainly, give her more responsibility for herself and suggesting you to back off a bit. That is, no extending time, no trying again for minutes on end, no unnecessary inspections. Do help if needed, but as they say here in US, cool it. Do the nappying at other than the bathroom, preferably in the bedroom. Maybe you already do this but your last reply skipped past that. Make it an EVENT, if you can do that. Have a bed pad oryou can lay out a towel for now to lie on, however, with the particular circumstances you might do better with a rubber sheet which can be wiped off. I feel that you should stop the regimen you are carrying out, having the children push so much, being uncomfortable, and for all we know aggravating their intestinal/bowel/anal system. The 11yo cannot continue to do what she is doing and the 40 minutes that she said it took her to poop is entirely much-too-much, although I am wondering how she knew the answer to that. Even so, I feel so badly for her. You don't know how much. I had more to say, but I must stop now. There may be more room for that, but I don't know how much. Will talk again.....Mr J {wish we were on chatroom or e.mail or something}