Reply from Tom, Child's Age none - 6/24/02 - IP#: 159.39.16.14

Bob, you still don’t understand my position on diapers. I don’t think anyone really believes that it is preferable to put teenagers (or anyone else) in diapers for bedwetting instead of teaching them to wake up and use the toilet. The preferred method of dealing with bedwetting is to find a cure, which is basically anything that makes it stop. But cures don’t work for everyone and there will always be some who continue to wet no matter what. There are also some “cures” that may be worse than the problem, for example, using an alarm to wake up every two hours could result in sleep deprivation that might leave a child unable to stay awake in class. If you could pick only one, which would you choose - a dry bed or good grades? Diapers are not a cure; they are simply a management tool used to keep a person comfortable and the bed dry. For me, diapers are a godsend and I use them every night. Wetness alarms did nothing but wake me up after I was soaked and never conditioned me to wake up before wetting. Medications help some but they only reduce the number of wet nights; they don’t eliminate the problem. Since I am married and share a bed with my wife, simply wetting the sheets is not really an option, not that I would do that anyway. At age 60 I am not likely to outgrow the problem, so I guess I’ll deal with diapers for the foreseeable future. Does that mean I have an “emotional attachment” to diapers? Probably, since I know the consequence of not wearing one to bed, I would be apprehensive about going to sleep without one. Is that a fetish? Not in my opinion. A fetish is generally considered to be a sexual attraction to a non-sexual object or part of the body, and there is absolutely nothing sexually attractive about putting a diaper on at night or dealing with a wet one in the morning. I have seen postings on this site - in the older kids, adults, and parents areas – indicating that some people wear diapers for convenience, or that they enjoy wearing them. That is a fetish, but wearing one when protection is genuinely needed is not. I really can’t respond to your belief that use of diapers creates a dependency on them that lasts beyond the period of need. I have seen no statistics that I would consider reliable that would support that belief. I can only relate what I know from personal experience, which includes myself and several siblings and nephews who all used diapers for bedwetting, that I have never encountered anyone who continued to use diapers when they were no longer needed. I read Jenniferlynn’s message and find that she has a very negative opinion about diapers. She seems to believe that diapers are for babies only and should not even be mentioned for anyone else. She says her son feels like he is a baby, and I would guess that is because of her attitude towards his use of diapers. No, I don't condemn her for trying to keep him out of diapers, but if she has tried everything else with no success, then maybe it’s time to accept the fact that diapers can offer some help until a better solution can be found.