Reply from Joan, Child's Age 14 - 6/23/02 - IP#: 80.225.31.190


Jenniferlynn – Yes, there are freaks who post on this board, you only have to look at the various Poll results to realise that. Yes, there are also those of us who are real parents who have tried real treatments (medical, alarms, waking during the night and hypnotherapy) but to no avail, and have real stories to tell. However, what you seem to be looking for are fairy stories, where everyone lives happily ever after. This doesn’t happen in real life, so we are stuck with having to manage the situation as best we can and in as caring a way as possible. If you have convinced your son that nappies/diapers are only for babies, I am not surprised that the negative effects are overwhelming, and that you are now at your wits end. Whatever you call a diaper, it is still a diaper, so calling it something else is refusing to face reality, but it may now be your only option, as you appear to have already burnt your boats (as the saying goes). We have discussed with our son (in an adult way) how best to cope with his wetting. We have not told him that he is a baby, or that nappies are only for babies, so he has no problem calling them nappies (the British name for diapers). He has come to his own conclusion that wearing a nappy in bed is the only practical solution until we can find a way of stopping his sleep wetting (yes, we are still actively looking for a solution that works for him). He would prefer a wet nappy to a cold, wet smelly bed every night. He wants to become more responsible for the management of his problem, so I have fixed Velcro to his nappies so that he can change himself more easily (without pins). He has also agreed to wear a nappy for long car rides, not for our convenience, but because he accepts that he always falls asleep and wets. I think your worries about skin infection are unfounded, as urine is sterile, so as long as precautions are taken to prevent diaper rash, this should not be a problem. I hope you have come here looking for tips on how to cope, and not for miraculous cures involving waving magic wands. If there was a magic formula, everyone would be using it and there would be no need for this board. Remember, facing reality helps you to cope.