Reply from Steven, Child's Age None - 3/18/02 - IP#: 65.32.234.205Hi Joan, I'll attempt to answer some of the points you brought up. First, I think that the use of diapers is preferable to sleeping in a cold wet bed for many reasons; the most important being comfort and a good nights rest. After speaking with many kids of all ages in the chat room, the vast majority prefer the diapers, especially if they are able to manage the changing by themselves. The issue of self-steem is enhanced by having a dry bed and changing one's self. I have used them all my life so we didnt have a problem like many of you who have had to re-introduce your children to the use of them. There may be some merit to those that would remove the diapers once and a while as an incentive to stop wetting. The idea of being able to actually "feel" the wettness is valid but the same thing can be accomplished by using cloth diapers which feel wet rather than the disp. type that pull the moisture away. I prefer a good nights sleep for school and dont wake up easily anyway. There are some kids who are beginning to have success with an alarm type of watch worn on the wrist set to go off a number of times in the night. These kids are using a pull up type diaper so they can use the toilet in the middle of the night. Some of them claim that the watch works for them when the regular bedwetter alarms did not. An added advantage to the wrist watch is it helps to remind them to use the bathroom during the day and works for sleepovers without embarrassment. I'm not an expert regarding the diaper fetish thing and only realized such a thing existed about a year ago but it seems to me from talking to other kids, the ones most likely to have this fetish later in life fall into two camps--those that get punished for wetting and those that are "babyed" by their parents. I'll address the babying issue. All kids want to be loved and comforted by their parents. The diaper changing time is an intensely private, one on one, helpless feeling period where strong messages can be conveyed. Combine that with the following: basically treating the child as if they were younger or being over protective because they wet, the sending of mixed messages by having them wear diapers early in the evening or late in the morning, use on outings when not necessary and allowing the child to use the diaper for convience can result in strong regressive feelings associated with love, comfort, and security on the part of parents. Tom's reply on 3/18 to Bob's posting message of 3/12 was right on target in my opinion. There are no right or wrong answers here. Some things work for one that don't work for others. The parents need to work WITH the child on developing a plan of action. Then stick with it. Many will expound upon one plan over another. Was it the plan or nature that stopped the wetting? I believe that the best route is to manage the problem with the tools at hand with the least amount of hassle and then let nature take its course. |