Reply from Tom, Child's Age none - 3/18/02 - IP#: 159.39.16.14

Joe – I agree that what your parents did to you at age 5 was wrong. Forcing a child to appear in public wearing just a diaper because he wet himself sends the wrong message to the child and could cause emotional problems down the road. Diapers should never be used as a form of punishment or to embarrass or shame a child. There are still some parents who think their child wets himself or his bed out of laziness, and embarrassing him, especially in front of his friends, will motivate him to do better. But most of these children are not lazy and just can’t control their wetting, especially bedwetting. Bedwetting is almost always a physical problem (small bladder, underdeveloped nervous system, etc.) over which the child has no control. If a bedwetting problem cannot be resolved with alarms, medications, etc., then diapers may be the best way to keep the child dry and comfortable at night. The subject of diapers should be handled positively; diapers are only a tool to help manage a problem and are not a punishment for unacceptable behavior, and their use does not mean the child is being treated like a baby. Diapers should be stored and used discretely to protect the child’s privacy, and they should be used only when needed. A child should not sit around in a wet diaper watching cartoons in the morning, and should not put a diaper on several hours before bedtime. If properly handled, there should be very little risk of developing an abnormal dependence on diapers. Diapers interfere with campouts, sleepovers, etc., and most kids ore only too glad to give them up when they are no longer needed. Refusal to allow a child to use diapers when they are needed can also cause emotional problems. Waking up during the night and having to change clothing and sheets can be stressful and cause the child to lose sleep. The room develops a stale urine smell, which may make a child reluctant to let friends come in his room. Either way, there is some possibility of emotional scars from bedwetting. Parents know their own children better than the rest of us, and can probably figure out what works best for their child.