Reply from Tom, Child's Age none - 2/6/02 - IP#: 159.39.16.14


There is a great deal of evidence that the concept of biofeedback actually works, and that a person can learn to control some aspect of their body's function that they would not normally be able to consciously control. In this sense I do believe that motivation can help some children stop bedwetting because those children may be using biofeedback techniques whether they realize it or not. However, not everyone is able to master those techniques and many other bedwetters will only stop when they outgrow it. The whole subject of the causes and treatment of bedwetting is complex and even medical experts disagree; and I do not claim to be an expert at all. I only know what I have experienced personally and seen in other family members and friends that were bedwetters or had children that were. Children do not want to wet the bed - they don't like having to change sheets in the middle of the night, wearing diapers, having friends find out, not being able to go on sleepovers, and the list goes on. You would think that would be sufficient motivation for any child to stop if motivation alone would do the trick, and yet many don't. I have never considered myself to be politically correct, but I don't believe that any child should ever be punished or humiliated for bedwetting unless you have a strong reason to believe that they are doing it deliberately. Punishment is never appropriate for something that a person cannot control. Most bedwetters are already embarrassed and ashamed of their problem and any punishment or humiliation added to that will only make it worse. What they need is positive support and reassurance that they will outgrow it one day. If diapers helps keep them comfortable then diapers should be provided. I was a bedwetter until age 12 and I know what it's like to deal with it. When I was young there were no medications, Goodnights, and not even disposable diapers. It was baby sized cloth diapers until you outgrew them and then just wet sheets. After years of being dry I am now wetting again. I have tried medications and alarms but still wet. I wear diapers to bed for my own comfort, but it was my wife who insisted that I give them a try; and I am really grateful for her support even if her primary interest was keeping herself dry.