Reply from Tom, Child's Age none - 1/31/02 - IP#: 159.39.16.14

First of all, I disagree with Rog's belief that a bedwetter can stop if he/she is sufficiently motivated to do so. If that were true there would be very few bedwetters in the world. I am nearly 60 years old and have tried withholding liquids, getting up every few hours, alarms, pills, and all the rest and still wet regularly. I have never met a bedwetter, myself included, that would not stop if they could. Most of them go to considerable effort to conceal the problem so they are motivated to maintain some sense of self-esteem, which should be unnecessary if they could use that same motivation to stop wetting. I do agree that you should call Jennie immediately and get the issue resolved. Even better, Robbie could talk to her, or at least participate in the conversation (kids can often work problems out better without parents' involvement). You might invite Jennie over for a discussion, which would be better in person and not over the phone. She should understand that she went into Robbie's room after being asked not to, and learned some very personal information by doing so, and that she is therefore obliged to keep that information confidential. If she did spread any personal information about Robbie at school, she was definitely out of line and you should speak to her parents about it. A couple of other points: Why does a boy with a 10:00 pm bedtime put on a diaper at 8:00 or 8:30 pm and sit around the house in it? I put mine on when I am ready to go to sleep, and not before. I can't use the bathroom without removing the diaper, which means I'll just have to pin it on again anyway. Also, anyone who is a long-term bedwetter should expect to be caught eventually, and you should be prepared to deal with that before it happens. I know this advice may be too late to prevent this incident, but you need to do what damage control you can and then be prepared for the next one. And there will be a next one, eventually.