Reply from Rog, Child's Age 12 - 1/18/02 - IP#: 12.86.16.60I believe there is a lot of muddled thinking on this issue. While they are claiming that bedwetting is never under any circumstances even slightly the child's fault and that there is absolutely no way a child can "try harder" to stay dry, sites like this are filled with advice on star systems, "congratulation e-mails," signs to go on the end of your bed saying "I will wake up!" and the need for the child to learn to "tolerate the awful feeling of pulling themselves awake" during the night to use the toilet. Unless they believe that disapproval or punishment for behavior is ALWAYS wrong and rewards ALWAYS right, it makes no sense for these "experts" to keep telling us to reward and congratulate our bedwetters every time they are dry but never scold or punish them when they are wet. I think SOME parents who have SOME reason to think that SOME bedwetters have SOME ability to control their wetting and that in these cases it is quite reasonable for them to use the same range of rewards and punishments they would use for other behaviors that may not be purposeful but still can be affected by greater effort on the part of the child. I do not consider myself dogmatic on the issue, however, and would be willing to hear arguments on the other side. |