Reply from Jeffrey, Child's Age 13 - 1/18/02 - IP#: 131.96.240.8Annette, Try this: ask your ex-husband whether he thinks it would be appropriate to punish or become angry with an adult who snores, suggesting that they snore because they are lazy. I don't think anyone believes people are intentionally snoring, or that they are "not trying hard enough" not to snore. Your ex needs to understand that a person can't try harder not to do something when he is asleep. Bedwetting is no different. If there is not a physical cause (which there usually isn't), bedwetting should be thought of as a type of sleep disorder. When the person is asleep, the brain simply doesn't send a signal to the bladder to either "hold it" or "wake up!" That ability gets established with most children as pre-schoolers, but your ex probably doesn't have any idea how many children do not gain that subconscious brain action while they sleep until they are much older. Your ex is punishing your son for something he cannot help, and he needs to understand that before he creates long term harm. You are to be congratulated for having an enlightened approach to this matter, and for making an effort to help your ex-husband to become better educated about it. As you say, the statistics demonstrate that your son will almost certainly overcome his bedwetting eventually, but his relationship with his father may be harder to heal if the punishment doesn't stop now. If your son is accustomed to wearing GoodNites at home, then he probably feels quite bad about having to wake up in a cold wet bed when he is with his father. Your ex should let you resume sending the GoodNites with your son when he stays there, and the situation will be improved for everyone. |