Reply from deb, Child's Age 13 - 7/28/01 - IP#: 128.183.234.194Hi maryann, I had/have the same situation with my daughter. She was an occasional bedwetter when she was younger (closer to your son's age), Initially we didn't make an issue of it because we thought it normal. But her bedwetting became more frequent a few years ago so we insisted (without any protest from her) that she wear goodnights to bed. Almost from day one her more frequent bedwetting became nightly bedwetting. She also got in the habit of putting them on before bed, sometimes a few hours before bed and wearing them, even when obviously wet, well into the morning, particulary on weekends. Goodnights are very expensive and I noticed that she was going through them more quickly as time went on (using more than one per night) At first I thought perhaps she was waking up wet in the night and changing them. I tried very hard not to press her on it and frankly was proud that she was dealing with it without a lot of trama or intervention on our part. Then last summer her and I had gone to do some shopping at the mall and I kept noticing a smell that seemed to be hanging with us as we shopped. I commented on it several times but she claimed she couldn't smell it. When we got back to the car I had pretty much put it out of my mind until she got into the car next to me and the smell was just overwhelming. I instictively said something like "my goodness, what did you do!" and she immediatley irrupted into tears, blubbering out of control and telling me she had an accident in her pants. I felt terrible for her and tried to comfort her and assure her that things like this happen to lots of people. She cried all the way home, then when we got home she ran to the bathroom and slammed the door. I insisted on helping her and she pleaded with me to let her clean herself up, but I was imagining a big soft mess and her getting it all over the bathroom and I insisted she let me in to help. Finally she let me in and again she was blubbering out of control. I undid her pants and was suprised to see she was wearing a goodight. It was soaking wet and smelled terribly. She had pooped in it and not the kind of wet soft poop you would expect of an accident but a large very firm poop. I was sure it couldn't have been an accident and was just stunded by the entire situation. I became a little angry at her and asked why she wearing goodingts in the middle of the afternoon and if she did this alot and so on. She just blurted out through her tears that she liked to wear them and wanted to wear them. Needless to say, I was stunned, but it was clear she was very upset and my maternal instincts were more tuned toward comforting her than punishing her at that moment. I carefully got the goodnight off of her and ran her a warm bath. I bathed her and we talked and she became as dossle as a little child. Since then we have switched to cotton diapers and plastic pants at night to save money and sometimes goodnights during the day, although she also wears her diapers into the late mornings and even all day when not in school and often askes me to put them on her in the evenings too. She normally will only ever mess in her goodnights, I think because she knows how much more work it is to deal with laundering messy diapers. But I have tried hard not to make her feel like a freak for liking to wear diapers and goodnights. I'd like to think that it is something that she will evently grow out of. But she is my special princess and I'll always love her, no matter what her preferences are. In some ways, it has brought us very close together. She loves my help and care and I love feeling as though she still needs me. :-) deb |