Hello Kathleen! You must be kind, you must show lots of support, be gentle. Kids have acsidents for lots of reasons, sometimes they don't even know why, sometimes even if they're acsidents-on-purpose kids still sometimes have to do it. I started wetting and pooping in my jammies at night after daddy went away, mommy was upset at first, then the doctor said it was coz i was upset, so many things had gone bad. It feels wrong being 12 and going toilies in my pants like a baby, but now mommy is very kind, she says its a problem, she will help me thru' like she would help me thru' any other problem. If your girl will talk with you,,, GOOD.. but if she cant or wont please dont pry or nag, it will just make her feel bad,its hard not to feel bad about these privat things. If you want to talk more, my secret email for talking about these privat things is poopyboy12@yahoo.com.au from JAMES (Sydney, Australia)