Hi there Alan, i am also a gay man (in the UK) with incontinence and i wear protection all the time. Unlike yourself i do not have any other problems an dhave learnt to deal with it and am used to and comfortable with wearing disp diapers and plastic pats. You are not alone and i hope you feel more comfortable with yourself as time goes on. If you would like to chat more, please post a reply and i will get back to you, regards Alex